Final Parody 4: The Almighty 8Track
by A. James Robin
Summary: In this installment of Final Parody, 8 stories of the FF7 characters are told through parodies of music by the following artists: Mark Heard, Tonio K., Bruce Cockburn, Styx, The Who, Joy Electric, and Out Of The Grey.
1. Systems Of The Mage

Note- This song is about Tifa's reluctance to believe that their battles are over.

Systems Of The Mage- A parody of 'Victims of the Age' by Mark Heard

Verse 1

Cloud's out on the floor,

and I am out in my heels.

Cid, it's said, can't seem to keep it real.

Ninja girl says, 'Caught Ya!'

Mark this: no, no, no!

Don't be dancing in the even flow

Chorus

Caught between these choices,

The fighting and the stage,

One too many voices

For the systems of the Mage.

Verse 2

Reno says 'I love you'.

His streak says 'That's a lie!'

Even Vince said, 'You only get one try.'

Aeris don't say nothing,

Barret don't know why.

Could Cloud be screaming in the silent night?

(Repeat Chorus 2x)


	2. Perfect Girl

Note- This song is about Reno lamenting that Elena isn't the right person for him.

Perfect Girl- A parody of 'Perfect World' by Tonio K.

Verse 1

In a perfect girl,

There would never be these fits.

Yeah, somehow you'd keep your cool.

In a perfect girl,

Loving makes her fill with bliss,

But these wishes don't come true.

Bridge 1

Here you are.

I thought that you were drawn to me.

It turns out, your manic derangement

Isn't funny when I'm dying,

Out on bended knee.

Chorus

Oh, you ain't no perfect girl.

You've got your problems.

No, you ain't no perfect girl.

I've got my problems too,

But not like you.

Verse 2

In a perfect girl,

I'd have found the one for me,

Not a blonde-haired crazy house.

In a perfect girl,

You'd have swam the world for me,

And I could have done the same.

Bridge 2

But times are tough,

And we're afraid to trust our heart.

I'm lost in a girl gone crazy,

And I want to throw up

When the sun gets so hot.

(Repeat Chorus)

Verse 3

I don't know if we're even friends,

But I know that we're more than strangers,

And I never want to walk

Away from anything

I've known as long

As I'm knowing you.

(Repeat Chorus 2x)


	3. Writers In A Plagiarous Time

Note- This song is less about FF7 and more about the legality of these parodies.

Writers In A Plagiarous Time- A parody of 'Lovers In A Dangerous Time' by Bruce Cockburn

Verse 1

Don't the powers grow stronger as the planes go by?  
You never make them stop, they will multiply.  
One day you're banking on a big windfall.  
The next, you're frazzled by a parody of all.

Chorus

When you're writers in a plagiarous time.  
Writers in a plagiarous time.

Verse 2

Financial burdens of rush and wait.  
These lines within this lair of hate.

Tear it open, every word replaced.

Sever the rest, when you can cut and paste.

(Repeat Chorus)

Verse 3

When you're writers in a plagiarous time,  
the world will make you feel as if your work's a crime.

But nothing worth stealing comes without a legal fight.

Got to kick at the lawyers till they bleed outright.

(Repeat Chorus)


	4. Mr Amano

Note: Mr. Amano is, of course, Yoshitaka Amano, the artistic mind behind Final Fantasy 1-6, and this song is about the FF7 characters paying tribute to him.

Mr. Amano- A parody of 'Mr. Roboto' by Styx

Verse One

You're worshipping who I am,  
drawing the man within.  
My heart lies in Japan,  
beating for every fan.

Verse Two

I've got a secret world that's hiding inside my head.  
I'll start a new one, enough with toiling on this IBM.  
So if you think I'm talking crazy, don't roll your eyes.  
I made a game, created for fun, called FF5.  
My Fantasy Five- Six leaves me dry,  
won't save my hide- just give me Five.

Verse Three

I'm not an artist without devotion- just check FF3.  
I'm coping well with FF7...are you missing me?

I draw a hero, I draw a savior, I'm hungry you know.  
I hate those old Level Advances, they run out of control.  
I'm just getting old- can't complete it whole.  
Level control- it's all getting old.

Bridge

I am the sketch within, who hides inside the disk  
So no one else can see the sketch inside of me.

Chorus

Thank you very much, Mr. Amano,  
for drawing the ones that nobody thought to,  
and thank you very much, Mr. Amano,  
we got 7 and 8. It's all because of you.  
Thank you, thank you,  
I want to thank you, please, thank you.

Verse Four

The others may not see your place in history.  
You'd save the day with 9 and leave it all behind.

The time has come at last  
To look inside the disk,  
so everyone can see  
the sketch inside of me...

...Nomura!


	5. Reno's Wasted

Reno's Wasted- A parody of 'Baba O'Riley' by The Who

Verse One

Out here in Mideel,  
I work for my thrills.  
I catch much flack about this killing.  
Oh, I need tonight  
to make things right.  
I just need a frosty tall one.

Chorus

Don't try...  
...to change my life.  
Oh, not when Reno's wasted.

Verse Two

'Lena, take my hand,  
'Cause I'm a star-crossed man.  
I'm not a liar, I'm just getting older.  
The rest of us are here.  
ShinRa's hired guns are near.  
Let's make some weather, before it gets much colder.

(Repeat Chorus 2x)


	6. Will We Halve The Forest Outpost?

Note: This song is about an attempted Turk takeover of the Forgotten City.

Will We Halve The Forest Outpost?- A parody of 'Lilypad The Forest Our Home' by Joy Electric

Verse One

Fear is there above.

Here is where my heart froze.

I will always be here, tempting

Fear forever.

Reno, can't I

Herd up the hunger years?

Don't stray, just

Stay from the trees.

Chorus

Will we halve the

Forest outpost?

Our eyes want to

Play on us here.

Will he halve the

Forest outpost?

My life wants this

Spooky fear renewed.

Verse Two

Spare the glancing trees.

Hear the sleeping galleys.

When they offer sweetened money,

Do not run, please.

If you chase them,

You will roam nevermore.

I'd be just so

Inauspicious.

(Repeat Chorus 2x)


	7. So I Never Slept With Aeris

Note: This song, obviously, is written from the perspective of Cloud.

So I Never Slept With Aeris- A parody of 'So We Never Went To Paris' by Out Of The Grey

Verse One

Uncovered, without touch.  
Favorite brother, that's what I've become.  
Play it neutral in a different way,  
shaking hands with not a thought we'd fall in love someday.

Bridge

Her time was up so quickly.  
There's no more time to waste.  
Between the waiting and the yearning,  
this is my fate.

Chorus

So I never slept with Aeris,  
now a happy memory.  
But my Tifa holds a new world of fantasies.  
Oh, I never wanted Yuffie,  
but no one feels alone.  
I have found a girl in Tifa, and I got the best of both.

Verse 2

There's still water in my eyes,  
'Cause we saw each other on her final night.  
What is neutral? That is not so clear.  
Now the lesson is never be thrown by fear.

(Repeat Bridge and Chorus 2x)


	8. Dreaming Of Aeris

Note- This song is about Cloud and his daydreams of Aeris.

Dreaming Of Aeris- A parody of 'Dreaming of April' by Out Of The Grey

Verse 1

Where is the place I long to be?

Visiting her in my mind.

I pray that she will soon return.

I know that she's here, so I wait now.

She's coming into the room.

Her gentle tune can mend my endless…

Chorus

Dreaming of Aeris,

Waiting for her tender light,

And all the scenery.

I'm dreaming of Aeris.

Maybe I'll see her this time.

She'll turn to smile at me.

Oh, this cloudy day

Marks an endless obsession.

I'm praying every day,

Dreaming of Aeris.

Verse 2

I always knew I was the kind

To feel the darkness come.

These whispered winds keep whistling.

Oh, I used to take her for granted,

But beauty always dies.

Now I'm hewn in within her, and I'm…

(Repeat Chorus 2x)


	9. Disc 5 Announcement

Coming to a Fanfiction page near you…

You've heard their hits…

You've heard them rock…

You've heard them do folk music…

You've even heard the 8-track.

But nothing can prepare you for…

**…Final Parody 5: Beatlemania!**

The Beatlemania! 'disc' will be packed full of your classic Beatles favorites such as 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds', 'Strawberry Fields Forever', 'A Day In The Life', and 'Let It Be'.

The oddities: 'Norwegian Wood', 'Obla-Di Obla-Da', 'Being For The Benefit Of Mister Kite'.

And the just plain weird: 'Glass Onion', 'She Came In Through The Bathroom Window', 'Revolution 9'.

This '2-disc set' comes filled to the brim with a whopping total of 31 songs!

If you're a Beatles fan, or you just like parodies, then keep an eye out for…

…Final Parody 5: Beatlemania!...

...Feb./March 2009.


End file.
